The reflections of a mother clinging to the 136th chapter I’m not going to lie, when my children were small, I was young and full of pride. I had taken childcare classes, read parenting books, and observed plenty of other mothers. I knew exactly how I was going to raise my children to confident, blissful …
Who I am and why I’m here
I’m a Christian working mom who is married to a pastor who is a former Marine. I am a mother of six and grandmother of one. Once upon a time, my husband and I sold everything we had and served as missionaries overseas. But I’m so much more than that. I am also a woman …
Sometimes I bow my head and whisper your name
You may not know this about me, but sometimes when the world has gone quiet and I’m alone with my thoughts, I bow my head and whisper your name. You may be sick or studying for a test or reeling from a broken heart or picking up the pieces of a shattered dream. You may …
Continue reading "Sometimes I bow my head and whisper your name"
Survivors of the Healthy Hearts
There are those among us who have seen things – things we wish we had not seen – and we will never be the same. We walk around like everyone else. We go to work, buy our groceries, and wash our cars. But there is a pain that would glare as brightly as a neon …
dirty dishes piled high and appointments forgotten
I am sitting in a hospital waiting room, watching the TV monitor update me on the progress of my child. The color of his chart just changed to blue and a new word has appeared below his name. INCISION in Arial font point size 24. Someone is cutting my child. …
Continue reading "dirty dishes piled high and appointments forgotten"
the incredible weightless weight of my child’s child
I won’t be around forever. Someday I will be nothing more than a handful of memories shared on holidays, a dozen stories passed around the dinner table, and a hundred bedside prayers providing protection for years to come. But when I’m gone, there will be people in this world who will remember what my …
Continue reading "the incredible weightless weight of my child’s child"
A round-trip ticket to colorfully sketched places
You don't know me yet, but you will. You're going to know me as the one who makes cookies and lets you lick the spoon, the one who tells funny stories about your mom, and the one who gets wrinkles at the corners of her eyes when she laughs. I hope you love my cookies …
Continue reading "A round-trip ticket to colorfully sketched places"
Not for all the tea in China
I would not wish you small again, not for all the tea in China. Your chubby little arms that circled my neck every morning when I lifted you from your crib forever softened my spirit. The baby-lotioned scent of your weight in my arms and the love-struck sound of my own off-key …
for my daughters and my sons
You were born with love in your heart and fire in your soul, and don't you ever forget it. You were born with love in your heart to share with those who will love you back. Those who will laugh and cry with you, and want to be with you most of all. …
Hundreds of victories and thousands of defeats
Until that point, we had not promised forever. We had not created that official triune of me and him and God that was to be fused together by a lifetime of joy and warmth and trouble and pain. There I stood before God and everyone, dressed in white and obscured by a veil, vowing …
Continue reading "Hundreds of victories and thousands of defeats"
