Sometimes I bow my head and whisper your name

You may not know this about me, but sometimes when the world has gone quiet and I’m alone with my thoughts, I bow my head and whisper your name.

You may be sick or studying for a test or reeling from a broken heart or picking up the pieces of a shattered dream. You may be carrying on like everything is fine when everyone can see it can’t possibly be fine, at least not as fine as you try to make it seem. Maybe, just maybe, you invite me in long enough to see what’s happening inside, and that’s a gift you can’t find on sale or order from Amazon.

You may know it or you may not know it, depending on whether or not you really care to know it, but those are the times that I bow my head and whisper your name to the one who formed you from those formed from dust before that name was ever yours to claim.

There was a time when you were formless and shapeless and nameless, before anyone knew you would be, and you were loved and sought after even then. Sought after by the one who would care to hear about every shattered dream and broken heart that brought you to your knees. And not just that, but every major exam and minor illness and everything in between.

So that’s who is listening when I bow my head and whisper your name. That’s who is holding the ropes while you struggle to finish the course. That’s who pursues you relentlessly, even if you don’t know that he’s there or care that he’s there.

He

is

there.

And he loves the shape of your name and the sound of your laugh and those moments when you look deep inside and see what he’s seen all along. That you are strong and worthy and made in his image, and that you will definitely get through whatever darkness has settled around you.

But you weren’t meant to make it on your own. You were meant to make it by realizing you couldn’t. You were meant to make it – to rise above and victoriously conquer it – by running to the one who loved you when you were without shape and form.

Without a name.

Until that time, and many times after, I will hold your name close to my heart and when the world goes quiet and my thoughts are heavy with thoughts of you, I will bow my head and whisper your name

and listen for footsteps

running home.