Lurking in the shadows cast by the spotlight illuminating the perfect wife and mother I tried to cross-stitch into a wall hanging over twenty years ago lives the other woman.
Our family affectionately refers to this woman as the “Proverbs 32” woman.
I am the other woman.
I do realize the mother instructing her son (in this case, the wise King Solomon) in Proverbs 31 was merely summarizing the general idea of a noble wife and mother, and there was no way she expected her son to find a mere mortal who could fit the bill in every single category every single day. But when you are an over-achieving perfectionist like me, you tend to read this beautiful description of the ideal and then proceed to beat yourself up with your otherwise useless cross-stitching hoops.
See, I am not a quilter, a SAHM, a chef, or an entrepreneur. These things are wonderful, but I am not them. Nor am I a trailblazer or a visionary. I am just an overtired legal assistant with a posse of kids and a messy house. How can I measure up?
Below are just a few of the portions I struggle with:
She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.
Does Super Wal-Mart count? Since I usually go to Aldi, shopping at Super Wal-Mart gets me excited over brand-name cereals and a produce section where they mist their vegetables. And don’t even get me started on the free samples.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
I’m sorry, but I do not get up before dawn except for those very rare occasions when I have a plane to catch, and then I sleep in my travel clothes the night before so I can pull back my hair, grab some coffee, and make it to the airport just in time for the pre-flight safety checks. My eyes do not even open all the way until I get inside the airport with its lights cranked up to a brilliance rivaling the appearance of a comet.
If only I had a couple of those aforementioned servant girls . . .
She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.
Okay, now there is just no way to “get up before dawn” and also be “energetic and strong.” No way. Not before Starbucks.
Waiter, I’ll take what she’s having, please.
Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.
I guess the fact that I couldn’t even finish the cross-stitched wall hanging before getting bored to tears explains a lot about why I did not make it into Chapter 31. My sister-in-law ended up finishing that project for me, and her initials stitched above mine are an ever-present reminder of my handiwork shame.
She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
She makes her own bedspreads?? Um, the last time I tried to make anything, it didn’t exactly end as planned. Years ago, I got the wild and crazy idea to make bathrobes for my four daughters for Christmas. Believe it or not, they did actually turn out pretty well, if you didn’t look too closely at the arms that were so long they would have been better suited for an adult male gorilla.
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.
Okay, I’ve got this part down pat. I watch over everything. EVERYTHING. I see every sock peeled off in the living room, every coat thrown over the dining room chair, and every dirty dish left in my kids’ bedrooms.
I have been accused of having the ability to SMELL dust. (To this I say, how can you NOT smell dust when it gets so thick your husband asks if you bought a new table runner?)
But my favorite part of all is towards the end. This part resonates with me on a deep and personal level, and it ties the entire chapter up into a pretty package tied up with a ribbon and says, “Here, take this. This is for you.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the lord will be greatly praised.
See why I love this? At the end of the day, all that really matters is whether or not my priorities are straight and my heart is right. If I’ve got that down, then I am measuring up perfectly to the ideal of who I was uniquely created to be. All I have to do is trust God knew exactly what he was doing when he created me and gave me my unique family and my specific talents (or lack thereof).
Then I can step out of the shadows and into the spotlight of Chapter 31.
And my husband and children shall call me blessed.
Flaws, shortcomings, and all.